Having a great friendship with loving and supportive friends is beneficial to your well-being. You feel more confident within yourself, it makes you feel happier and a sense of belonging.

In my previous blog, I wrote about the top 5 qualities that you should look for in a friendship. In this blog, I want to talk about the 5 traits you should be wary of in toxic friendship.

I’ve had many experiences with friendships that were toxic and I didn’t realize it. It took me years of learning about what I want in a friendship, I was then able to distinguish what’s good for me and what is not.

I once had a friend that I worked with who constantly complained and talked poorly about other people. She was very manipulative and would guilt trip me if I had thoughts about leaving the friendship.

Everyone at the job disliked her because of her attitude and because I hung around her they disliked me as well. I found this out later from my coworkers after she had quit the job.

Even though she was a toxic friend we still had a bond with each other. We had great conversations and bonded over our past trauma, but that was not enough to keep our friendship alive.

Hanging around her made me feel anxious because I knew she was going to be complaining all day. Now that I think about it, I was also at a low place in my life, I hated my job, I hated where I lived and I hated my life altogether, so I am not surprised I attracted this type of friendship in my life.

The consequences of keeping toxic friendships in your life cause detriment to your well-being, which includes increased stress levels, anxiety, and depression.

Here are the top 5 traits of a toxic friendship.

Manipulation

Manipulative behavior, such as guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or deceit, is a clear sign of a toxic friendship. What this means is that they don’t respect your boundaries and the only thing that is important to them is what they want.

This is especially true if you are a people pleaser, this is whom they take advantage of the most, and when you try to leave the friendship, they guilt trip you into staying.

When you are being manipulated and you aren’t aware you might feel a sense of confusion and resentment towards the friend who is doing it. It is important to identify the behavior immediately and either remove yourself or confront the friend.

Controlling Behavior

Controlling friends will often dismiss your feelings and opinions, telling you how you should think and feel. They want to control who you talk to, generally trying to isolate you from your other friends.

Their goal is to keep you to themselves and only have your attention on them, be mindful of these types of behaviors. It can be confusing because a controlling friend can come across as a friend who is protective and wants your best interest, but all along it’s a ploy to have 100% access to you.

Inconsistency

Friends should be there for each other during both good and bad times. Inconsistent friends tend to be around when they need something from you, but when it’s time for the same reciprocation they are not able to do the same.

They might cancel a reservation last minute, arrive late, or might not show up at all. There are days when you are their best friend and other times you are not a priority at all.

Negativity

Having a negative friend who sees the worst in everything can be very taxing on your mental well-being. Especially if they are always criticizing and judging other people, if they can talk poorly about others, they definitely won’t have any problem talking badly about you.

Healthy friendships involve constructive feedback, but constant criticism or demeaning comments can erode self-esteem and create a negative atmosphere.

Lack of Empathy

A good friend should be empathetic and understanding. If someone consistently dismisses your feelings or lacks empathy, it can strain the relationship.

If you feel like you cannot speak to your friends about certain topics because they might dismiss your feelings this is not a healthy relationship.

If a friend does not feel the things that you are feeling he or she will never understand you, or care, you can’t change that, nor fix that.  

But you can change yourself by distancing yourself from that person.

Conclusion

Friendships should be threads that uplift, inspire, and bring joy.

Recognizing the signs of a toxic friendship is not about casting blame but empowering ourselves to foster healthier connections.

As we navigate this journey of self-discovery and interpersonal growth, let us be mindful of the relationships that shape our experiences. Embracing the courage to let go of toxic ties opens the door to a brighter, more authentic chapter.

May our circles be filled with genuine bonds that nurture, support, and encourage, reminding us that true friendship is a reflection of our shared journey toward happiness and fulfillment.