I never really liked public speaking; I remember a speech I gave in front of my class in the 9^th grade. I don’t remember what the speech was about, but after my speech was over a classmate said out loud that my speech was horrible, and she began laughing.

I was so enraged I shouted at her; I don’t remember what I said.

Even though I responded with aggression internally I wanted to run out of the classroom. I was embarrassed and humiliated, I couldn’t believe she said that.

My mind started racing, did everyone think that my speech was horrible? Did they think I sounded stupid also? Does the whole school think I am a failure?

I was mortified, I never wanted to step into school again, nor did I ever want to do any public speaking. I didn’t feel like I could handle this type of embarrassment.

Fast forward 20+ years later, and I can now speak in front of people.

I had to find a way to overcome my fear of failure, and being overwhelmed, when it came to speaking in public because the fear was holding me back.

In this blog, I will go over how I overcame my fear of failure and became comfortable with public speaking.

Why do we fear failure?

The fear of failure often stems from a fear of experiencing shame or embarrassment.  There could have been a situation in the past where you failed at something, and someone might have made you feel bad about it, and it triggered feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.

This is the reason why you might not take the steps to try something that you can possibly fail at.

The thing about the fear of failure and how it stops you is that this “fear” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: you’re so afraid of failure that it becomes the only possible outcome, accompanied by negative thoughts.

That negativity decreases that confidence and increases self-doubt. Then, when you do fail at something you tried, you confirm to yourself that your fear is valid.

After high school I had to do other public speaking performances, one I remember was in college.  I would be so overcome with fear and anxiety and when I spoke my voice would shake, confirming my thoughts that I just was not good at public speaking, and everyone knows it.

How to overcome the fear of failure

Write your fears down.

When you write those fears down things are not as scary as it seems. When I did public speaking one of the fears I had was that people were judging me and someone would say that I was wrong.

Your brain will come up with all of the worst-case scenarios of what will happen, reflect, and read them back, sometimes they are just silly and outlandish, but it does not feel that way in our heads.

Another thing that you can do is write things that counter that, write all the worst-case scenarios if you were to fail, then on the opposite side write down all the great things that can come out of trying.

Change Your Perspective

Many times, when we fail at something we take the failure as a determination of our own self-worth.

It is important to detach failure from self-worth because failing at something does not mean you are a failure of a person.

So changing what failing means to you is very important. Know that failure is an inevitability of the path of a life well lived. Not everything will work out, it’s impossible to know in advance, but that shouldn’t stop the journey. Failure is just a part of life.

Remember the cost of not trying

The cost of failure is less than not trying at all, you don’t want to live in regret because you never tried.

In order to see growth in your life you need to try and when you try there’s a big chance that you might fail at it and that’s not bad at all.

Failing and trying again takes grit and determination; these skills are only built through our failures.

Focus on learning.

It is important to notice what you learned from your failures. You learn more from your failures than you do from your wins.

Failures teach us flexibility, adaptability, and how to overcome obstacles.

It teaches us to use change to our advantage.

In Conclusion

In the face of the fear of failure, remember this: fear is just a hurdle, not a roadblock. Overcoming the fear of failure is a transformative journey that requires dedication, perseverance, and a willingness to embrace growth.

By understanding the root causes of this fear, recognizing its impact, and employing proactive strategies, you can shift your mindset and approach challenges with renewed vigor.