We often use the word “should” to motivate ourselves or keep ourselves in check.

Even when advising others we frequently use this word to try and help motivate others, our intentions are usually in the right place.

But the word “should” can be a disempowering word,  in the dictionary the word “should” is used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.

I have decided to remove the word “should” from my vocabulary because when I tell myself I should have done this, or I should have done that I never really get things done, or if I do it’s usually because I feel obliged to do it which does not feel good.

Also, when I tell other people about what they “should” be doing no one generally listens to me, and I come across as if I know what is best for them more than they do.

This word does not promote a positive relationship with ourselves or the people we care about. It is a negative word that promotes criticism and judgment with feelings of restrictions.

Our words are a powerful tool that shapes our perceptions and behaviors, especially in personal development and intentional living.

In this blog, we’ll delve into why eliminating the word “should” from your vocabulary is essential for building confidence skills, reducing negativity, and fostering a more fulfilling life.

The Impact of Our Words

Our choice of words can impact our self-image and how we interact with other people. When we constantly use the word “should,” we impose our expectations on ourselves and others, creating feelings of pressure and guilt.

We are adults and we don’t like to be told what we “should” be doing, as kids we were told what to do but as adults it is no longer needed.

This negativity can hinder our confidence skills and feel that we aren’t able to make good judgments for ourselves and this impedes our journey toward personal growth and fulfillment.

Is “Should” a Positive or Negative Word?

The word “should” is negative.

While the word “should” can help offer guidance in certain contexts, it often carries a heavy emotional burden, even with the best intentions.

The fear of falling short of expectations can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety.

By acknowledging the impact of “should” on your well-being, you can cultivate a mindset of self-compassion and acceptance.

Why Stop Using the Word “Should”?

The word “Should” is full of expectations and judgment, often leading you into a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety when it comes to making decisions.

By reframing your words and replacing “should” with more empowering alternatives, instead of using “should,” it can be more helpful to use language focusing on choice and flexibility. For example, “I would like to…” or “I could…” or “I might consider…”  which leaves room for personal agency creating a growth mindset.

This allows you to embrace your authenticity and pursue your goals with confidence and intentionality.

How Do You Remove the Word “Should” from Your Vocabulary?

Breaking free from the habit of using “should” requires mindfulness and intentional effort.

You can start by becoming aware of when you use the word, this can take time. I sometimes still catch myself on occasions using the word but with consistency and time, the word is slowly being removed from my vocabulary.

Next would be to reframe by using alternative words such as “ I might consider” or “one possibility”. Find words that fit your sentence, it takes a bit of time.

It’s important to practice self-compassion and remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Over time, you’ll develop confidence skills and a more empowering relationship with the words you use. Remember words are powerful.

Words can be powerful allies, or enemies – Yasmine Galenorn

Conclusion: Embracing Empowering Language

By eliminating the word “should” from our vocabulary, we create space for authenticity, growth, and fulfillment.

Let’s embrace words that uplift and empower us, guiding us toward a life of purpose and intentionality.

As you embark on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth, remember that change takes time and patience.

Be kind to yourself and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small. Together, let’s cultivate a mindset of positivity and possibility, transforming “should” into “can” and “will.”